Ninja Turtles letter was inaccurate

Fools! I am “Oroku Saki” better known as “The Shredder” from the cartoon theme-song cover band, “The Shredders.” Chris Helms wrote in Wednesday’s Mailbox comparing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie to the Iraq war. He compared Shredder to Osama bin Laden. This is preposterous! The Foot Clan has ceased its past ninja activities in favor of forming a rock band to enlighten the masses with the power of our ninjitsu rock, performing all your favorite cartoon songs. I am not diabolical but rocktacular. “The Shredders” are totally against Osama bin Laden and other such despicable scoundrels and rapscallions. If anyone wants to see what “The Shredders” are really about, come see us Sept. 14 at the Caledonia Lounge.

CHRIS GAY
Graduate Student, Savannah
Physics

Chicken nugget champion a fraud

In response to The Red & Black’s photo about the Chicken Nugget Eating Champion, I would just like to inform them, that so-called Champion Matt Kreis’ 80 nugget record was demolished that same day by sophomore Andrew Jensen, who managed to eat 90 nuggets. As Kreis sat there soaking up the publicity, Andrew sat quietly devouring nugget after nugget on his record setting pace.

Andrew – a local professional competitive eater – claims this as his second eating title, winning the Moe’s Burrito Eating Contest in Snellville this past summer. Therefore, I would like to crown Andrew Jensen as the new Chicken Nugget Eating Champion and local fat ass.

DANE FORLENZA
Senior, Snellville
Education

‘Finding Nemo’ was clever column

Kudos to Juanita Cousins for Monday’s column. The Nemo analogy was clever and well-crafted. Drunken Facebooking is one thing, but drunken newswriting is another story. At least we can be sure none of that plagued The Red & Black this time.

EMILY SAEGER
Sophomore, Valdosta
Pre-Journalism