Dear Kelly, I tend to maintain my friendships with ex-girlfriends and in past circumstances this has worked out fine, but with my latest relationship, my girlfriend is a bit more jealous.

The problem is that my two closest friends just happen to be my last girlfriend and a friend I met through her. What should I do to get my friends back in my life and keep my girlfriend from getting so jealous?

- Losing both ways

Dear Losing,

How many times and in how many ways have you talked to your girlfriend about this issue?

You may feel you are really explaining how cutting these friends out of your life is affecting you, but she might not see past the fact that this is a girl you once found attractive.

If you neglect your two lady friends, they eventually will grow distant and what relationship you thought you had with them will be damaged or destroyed.

The same thing can be said about your relationship with your girlfriend. If she doesn’t realize she is your number one, you may not have been doing a very good job listening to her or assuring her of your devotion. Make her feel secure in you.

The key here is letting her know you care. Talk about her ex and go over the ways in which you are different.

Talk with your two friends as well. Make them aware of how your girlfriend feels.

If you and your girlfriend are strong, you will find a way to include your friends into your life. If your girlfriend just doesn’t understand after all of your most ardent efforts, and she persists in her jealousy (after a long trial period), it might be time for the two of you to part ways.

She may have some trust issues with you, or men in general, or insecurities with herself that she needs to sort out before she can be with anyone this seriously. Give her time, give her all of yourself and if she still doesn’t come around, move on. Life is too short to neglect the people you love the most.