Dating in college not only for couples
March 31, 2010 by KATE PARHAM
Filed under Columns, Opinions
After nearly a decade of dating, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only thing a girl needs to do to get a date is get a boyfriend.
Let me explain. It seems the only people who actually go on dates are already a couple. Dates just don’t happen anymore for single people.
PARHAM
And no, a drunken sleepover does not count as a date. I’m talking about a good ole’ fashioned dinner and a movie arrangement where two people go out and enjoy each other’s company.
Take a look around next time you go out to eat. You’re probably not witnessing anybody’s first date. Your fellow diners likely have been an item for months, because the concept of meeting someone new, asking them on a date and actually following through with it no longer exists.
Instead, the scenario goes a little something like this: meet someone new, text message them on Friday night to “see if they’re out”— this usually involves some embarrassing form of text speak, i.e. “R u out 2nite?”— and maybe even accidentally bump into them at Boar’s Head. Every girl’s dream right?
And for that matter, I don’t think it’s every guy’s dream either. What is anyone really getting out of this situation, anyway?
So you save a few bucks on dinner, but you miss out on getting to know someone, doing something fun and different, and hopefully good conversation — one that you can actually remember the next morning.
Seth Cohen of “The O.C.” fame knows what I’m talking about: “Kids our age don’t even date any more. They hang out in groups and then they peel off to hook up.”
How romantic!
Now, I’m sure at this point you’re thinking, “Ease up, lady! Just because you can’t get a date, doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t either!” But I can get a date. In fact, I go on a lot of dates … with my boyfriend.
Before I had a boyfriend, I had no dates. I met plenty of eligible bachelors. I even gave my number out to a few of them. But to no avail. All I got was some lousy Facebook message saying how it was good to see me at Buddha Bar.
Good to see me? You know, you could see me on purpose sometime, too, if you asked me out. I think guys don’t realize how easy it could be to get a girl.
My first date was at Your Pie — it doesn’t have to be the five-star restaurant you think we require — and my girlfriends and I gushed for hours over how amazing this guy was solely for asking to see me in a sober setting.
I realize that a lot of guys don’t want to be tied down in college — save the serious relationships for post-graduation kind of thing.
But if you met a girl in class and thought she was cute and interesting, why wouldn’t you invite her over to watch the new episode of “The Office” or join in on the pot of spaghetti you made for dinner?
I suppose the answer is pretty obvious. We — and by we, I mean women — tend to take things too seriously and rather than enjoy being young and in college, we try to turn everything into a serious, monogamous relationship. This scares guys off from ever asking a girl out, for fear that she’ll always want more than they’re willing to give.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. It can be great to just meet new people, hang out and get to know them.
You never know where it could lead: a friendship, a girlfriend, sex, job contacts or absolutely nowhere, and then you’re off to the next date. An open mind might surprise both sexes.
To be clear, I’m not suggesting that everyone start pairing off. “Men! Grab your spears and catch you a woman!” I’m not saying that at all.
What I am saying is that dating can be fun and exciting and worth it. Relationships … well, that’s for another column.
— Kate Parham is a senior from Roswell majoring in magazines
