They may catch your eye when you’re sober. After margarita No. 4, they’re even more attractive.

And once that Buttery Nipple hits your bloodstream, your second glance has evolved into a lip-nibbling, come-hither gaze.

You’re drunk, and feeling frisky. So what’s your next step?

Unfortunately, I’ve never had the pleasure of a random, drunken one-night-stand from downtown — but that doesn’t mean I haven’t fought the urge.

SHELTON

When you have mentally prepared to insert Tab A into Slot C  — and accessorized your nightstand accordingly — you avoid the sunrise search for Plan B.

Along with protective layers of latex, the most important thing to have before you hit the sheets is consent from both parties … even the fellas.

Now, when you introduce alcohol into your cognitive processes, your words or actions can get jumbled. So beware misinterpreting your partner. You don’t want to mistake mere politeness for desire.

Legal reasons aside, I’m sure most of the student population doesn’t wish to harm a fellow classmate — so if you’re too impaired to give or receive appropriate consent, maybe you should call it a night.

But hey, it’s not always a new face, right?

Sometimes you and an old friend decide to take a trip down memory lane. If you’ve hooked up with someone in the past — while sober —  treat this drunken escapade like a coupon for Moe’s: equal or lesser value only.

If your partner only let you round second when they were alcohol-free, don’t steal home now because they’re too drunk to tag you out.

Now, just because you’ve messed around with someone before doesn’t mean they’re up for the same activities now. But if they are, keep the drunken escapades within these parameters.

You never know who you’ll run into when you head downtown this Saturday. So be prepared — pack a few supplies.

Now, maybe you don’t plan to get wasted and sleep with the nearest stranger. But I have wandered downtown a few times in my day. There can be many tempting cocktails, and even more tempting partners.

Grab a few condoms from the health center on your way out — they come in convenient pouches,  along with lubrication.

You know alcohol dehydrates more than just your mouth, right?

And if masculine genitals aren’t your cup of tea, a flavored condom is only three snips away from a dental dam.

Just because you’re prepared doesn’t mean you’re obligated to a walk of shame in the morning.

If you’re not interested, then pass your protection around in the bathroom and protect a fellow dawg.

If you so desire, drinking and sex can be important parts of the college experience.

However, like Bailey’s and Rumplemintz, they’re not always best to mix. Only take the shot if you know — for sure — it won’t make you sick later.

Take a moment to plan your night before you go out.

Come up with a general game plan for the end of your downtown experience — those sober thoughts may break through a drunken stupor and prevent a risky situation.

I’ve done some pretty stupid things myself on the liquor-lacquered street of East Clayton, and I have the scars to prove it.

But always making up my mind  before I strap on my stilettos has saved me in the past.

Without that, I would probably  have woken up with a sexual hangover.