2008 Woodie Awards
Legless pants, pocket dresses perfect for fashion-forward types
Issue date: 4/1/08 Section: Variety
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Go for it! Outdo spring's traditional skin-baring fare with legless pants. Hyper-cognizant beyond its youthful novelty, legless pants sashay perfect circles around both skinny jeans and wide-leg trousers.
Take a pair of legless pants straight from day to night without any hitches, or britches, for that matter; from class to the club, from or the office to the orthodontist's.
Consisting strictly of pockets and belt loops, this piece commands a brazen presence. Pair it with gym socks and a sequined top to give the impression of the incomprehensible, glamorous enigma, or with a crisp white blouse for job interviews (only the fabulous need apply).
Also, meet the pocket dress. Perfect for brunches and ladies who lunches, the garment is equal parts sweet and low maintenance.
Simply put, it is an enormous pocket. To sport it with panache, all one must do is to step inside, quite literally, and hop, hop, hop. Potato sack race-haters needn't apply! (The fabulous may find applications online.)
Now recall, please, the tendency of fashion's cosmic pendulum to swing back and forth between extremes. Recall and wince, for it not having occurred to you sooner: tiny little hats.
Where big floppy numbers once reigned, and even regular-sized berets and newsboy caps had their moment, tiny little baseball caps pick up their outdated pieces.
Just imagine! Tiny caps, shrunken to gently cradle a fine scallop or truffle if the moment required it; chic and practical.
For additional accessories, this spring seasons beckons forth the fierce in lieu of the precious. That said, eschew the miniature lap or handbag dog in favor of the komodo dragon, dog sweaters be damned. If well trained, it can additionally serve as a live hover board. Ride it down the street for an effect that screams, "Elegant! Exotic! Lazy, but in a cute way!"
And a quiet, miniature whisper of advice. Call 15-20 of your very closest best friends to make absolute certain you don't leave the house looking like yourself, with no twin entourage. Just imagine that horror!
- Valentina Tapia is variety editor for The Red & Black. Visit www.not.com/jk, or redandblack.com for more trend reporting.
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 15
olive
posted 4/01/08 @ 10:25 AM EST
ok, what the hell are legless pants? panties?
Heather
posted 4/01/08 @ 11:16 AM EST
This is AWESOME, Valentina. I LOVE IT! :)
ms.hoo
posted 4/01/08 @ 11:35 AM EST
good job...you got me for almost the whole article!
Fashion?
posted 4/01/08 @ 11:50 AM EST
Better than some of the current "fashion" at UGA. Here is some UGA fashion for you: Girls wear umbros with big furry boots. They wear trenchcoat sweaters and they put giant Huck Finn cuffs on their bluejeans. (Continued…)
Ethan
posted 4/01/08 @ 3:21 PM EST
Thank you, I'll never leave the house looking like myself again. I think "lazy, but in a cute way" is a beautiful phrase.
dp
posted 4/01/08 @ 6:38 PM EST
im glad i realized this is a jokey joke
i thought homegirl had lost it
John
posted 4/01/08 @ 7:02 PM EST
Tell me, why is your mugshot the size of my computer screen and everyone else's is but an inch by inch photo?
Does your beauty warrant that many pixels?
How humble of you. (Continued…)
gail
posted 4/01/08 @ 7:15 PM EST
Finally! A breath of fresh air in fashion! And right where it counts!!! I can foresee those legless pants being a big hit in summer heat--and endless possibilities for accessorizing!
Valentina Tapia
posted 4/01/08 @ 9:42 PM EST
John,
Surely you realize I'm not the online editor, too. I have nothing to do with the format things appear in online.
eyeroll
posted 4/02/08 @ 6:22 PM EST
...... ooer. This article is written in such weird language ("ladies who lunches?") that I couldn't even tell it was a joke. What is this, Teen Vogue?
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