Quantcast The Red and Black
College Media Network

The Red and Black

Search the Archives

Believe it or not: Wacky wines

HELEN BURDETTE

Issue date: 8/28/08 Section: Out & About
  • Print
  • Email
  • Page 1 of 1
Step right up ladies and gentlemen and prepare yourself for the strangest and most obscure elixirs in town.

Think your beer tastes a little bland? How about adding a little Antarctic water to freshen the brew? Wish wine could resemble bug juice? We have just the thing. Witness the mysterious man-shaped bottle or the amazing hairy-legged girl. Take a step outside your comfort zone and dare to turn the page.


Ugliest Wine: Strong Arms

Available at Shiraz
$13.99


Strong Arms' nasty label belies its flavorful contents. The freak show girl on the exterior hides the sweet-charactered wine from Down Under.

Her monstrous, hairy legs and splayed feet seem all the more grotesque with a dress and pretty face attached. This shiraz will startle innocent victims searching for a glass of purple juice. Shiraz wines are known for their powerful taste and dark color.

The artwork is one of a series for the wine drawn by surrealist ink illustrator Mel Kadel.

Best Music Inspired: The Jailhouse Red Merlot

Available at Five Points Bottle Shop
$12.99


Elvis is always sexy.

The Jailhouse Red Merlot is in its fourth year of production from Graceland Wines, a Californian vineyard. The company labels the brand as a medium body wine that is best paired with pork.

Does Elvis live in your heart, rock your hips and uncork your inhibitions?

"It's why 90 percent of people buy this wine," Pete White of Five Points Bottle Shop said.

Merlot is a softer varietal of grape and popularly grown worldwide.

Strangest Name: Bug Juice

Available at Shiraz
$21.99


Many associate Italy with elegance: three piece suits, morning espressos and the seven course meal.

Bug Juice, however, has all the delicious qualities of Italian tastes without conveying either sophistication or polish.

Bring this out for your next dinner party. The reaction to the name guarantees plenty for your own consumption without appearing stingy.

This white riesling is a dessert wine with a low 6 percent alcohol by volume and is a favorite at Shiraz.

Weirdest Bottle Shape: Winemaker

Available at Five Points Bottle Shop
$22.99


Winemaker's hearty appeal is 12 inches of

glass testosterone. This man-shaped bottle with its grin and hefty barrel seems to encourage pouring a glass of the Merlot-Cabernet wine blend inside him.

From the Republic of Moldova on the outskirts of Ukraine, this blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot has a rich, black currant flavor. Ample warning: wine not fit for the faint of heart.

Most Exotic: Tree of Life Pomegranate Wine

Available at Five Points Bottle Shop
$9.99


For those who prefer wine coolers and margaritas, this semi-sweet beverage made from the Mediterranean red fruit is an enticingly different alternative to traditional wine. Its pink color and sweet smoothness attracts a certain feminine consumer. Plus, it's packed with antioxidants! Yay!

The Armenian wine also lends a mystique to the average social gathering. There is now something else to sip on besides Island Mist's Mango Symphony.

It is 100 percent pomegranate juice, 12 percent alcohol by volume.

Most Expensive: Taittinger

Available at Five Points Bottle Shop
$90


Pronouncing the name to the maitre'd makes the mouth contort and the wallet fold skinny.

From the French family famous for champagne since 1734, this blanc-de blanc brut will impress the spoiled snob, the members of the card-carrying Fred Astaire club, or the impossibly out-of-your-league woman.

Bubbles do make nights much more fun and mornings so much worse.
Page 1 of 1

Article Tools

Be the first to comment on this story

  • NOTE: Email address will not be published

Type your comment below (html not allowed)

  I understand posting spam or other comments that are unrelated to this article will cause my comment to be flagged for deletion and possibly cause my IP address to be permanently banned from this server.

 

 

Advertisement

Poll

Should the Board of Regents have approved a $100 fee increase for students?
Submit Vote

View Results



Advertisement