Every week, we select the best police reports from Athens and the University of Georgia for our website and newspaper. Today, we’re selecting the best of this year so far. From alien abductions to a nude dude, here are our favorite blotters from January to now.
At No. 5, we have a recreation of the iconic scene from King Arthur. Except, instead of a stone, the sword was in a flower bed. And instead of Great Britain, it was outside Creswell Hall. Not quite King Arthur’s Excalibur, but close.
5. Unusual weapon found outside of Creswell Hall
An individual found a sword outside Creswell Hall on Jan. 22, according to a UGA police report.
According to the report, the individual who found the sword said it was stuck in the ground in front of the flower bed facing Finley Street.
The sword was approximately 3 feet long with a gold and red decorative handle. The sword had dull edges that came to a point, according to the report.
The sword now remains in custody of the UGA police department.
Alien abduction or abduction of aliens? You tell me with our No. 4 blotter.
4. Trespasser damaged alien statues
Six alien statues were knocked over and broken at a residence on Jan. 24, according to an Athens-Clarke County Police Department report. The statues stood next to a fake UFO set up by the homeowner to look like it crashed into the yard.
The statues, described as gray "alien being sculptures" in the report, were screwed into the ground by their feet. Because of this, the complainant insisted the alien statues could not have fallen over on their own.
The total value of the damage is approximately $200, according to the report.
Coming clean at No. 3, a man was looking a little “suds”-spicious at a local CVS.
3. Man barred from CVS after hiding bottles of soap in his pants
A male suspect was barred from CVS on Alps Road on Feb. 6 after the store manager observed him “stuffing items down his pants”, according to an ACCPD report.
When the man was confronted by the manager, he fled the store. Police were able to locate the suspect near the CVS, but he did not have any items on his person.
The man admitted to stealing the items but claimed he ditched them as he ran out of the store. However, no merchandise was recovered.
The officers were presented security with footage showing the suspect “stuffing several items into his pants” in the body wash section, according to the report. Nine bottles of Dove body wash totaling $80.91 were stolen and never recovered.
The suspect was arrested and barred from CVS on Alps Road for a period of two years.
Breaking Bad meets Fantastic Beasts seems to be the inspiration for our No. 2 blotter.
2. Briefcase of drug paraphernalia found on campus parking deck
A briefcase filled with bongs, smoking pipes and other smoking materials were found on the South Campus Deck on Feb. 2, according to a UGA police report. The reporting officer said that the briefcase smelled of marijuana.
The briefcase was found under a car, but police could not make contact with the owner of the car to identify if the car owner was also the owner of the briefcase.
According to the report, police returned to the station to open the briefcase. The contents were three bongs, one long rubber smoking pipe, a portable heating device, a glass smoking pipe, a piece of metal, an empty Ziploc containing residue suspected to be marijuana and three bong attachments.
And closing it out at No. 1, a classic tale of a male who has lost his pants. Or are they on his head? Either way, at 2 p.m. in the afternoon, we have a lot of questions for this nude dude and the traumatized employee.
1. Nude male in the MLC bathroom
An employee at the Miller Learning Center encountered a nude male in the men’s restroom on Feb. 3 at 2:42 p.m. According to the report, the male was found wearing only sweatpants on his head.
The employee said he had to open the door to the restroom, which was unusual because the door is deliberately left open. The employee encountered a male standing naked in the open area of the restroom, between the sink and the stalls. The employee said the male appeared to be masturbating, according to the report.
According to the report, after the employee found the male he immediately exited the room and notified security. The restroom and the first floor were searched but security could not find a male matching the description.