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Many schools have particular dress codes dictating what shoes men and women can wear. (Photo/Tony Walsh)

Shoulders, collar bones, knees and elbows must be covered up. In an interview with Gilead High School’s principal, John Doe, Ph.D., we learn how vital it is to cover up a girl’s obscene skin in schools to protect the education of our strapping young men.

Doe has been Gilead’s principal for the past 15 years and has delivered numerous detentions, suspensions and expulsions to provocative young women who refuse to abide by the rules for their male peers' sake.

“Our school’s dress code is something we pride ourselves on. Simply put: shirts must cover the entire torso, shoulders and up to the base of the neck, pants must go past the knees, no tight clothing is allowed such as leggings or skinny jeans since it accentuates the female body in suggestive ways and no strappy sandals or footwear that reveals toes,” Doe said.

Doe consistently updates the dress code in order to capture all sexually arousing skin. Just this past year, the school instated a gloves policy for all female students because dainty hands have been drawing male attention.

“We’re trying to protect our students from one another. The boys are missing educational material because a female student’s t-shirt clung to her figure. We simply removed the female student from her class and gave her an extra-large t-shirt from the lost and found to wear instead. She made it to her next class only a couple of minutes late.”

Gilead High School stands as the pinnacle of modern American education. By enforcing a strict dress code, no female student has to feel objectified and every male student is shielded from their impulses.

“Boys will be boys. If we don’t put regulations in place for the girls, the boys just won’t know what to do with themselves. The girls have to accommodate in order for the boys to control themselves.”

Doe is doing an excellent job of preparing both male and female students for college and the real world. By censoring school attire, the boys are able to pay better attention in class and the girls know what it feels like to live in a patriarchal world.

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